Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Reviewiverse number 1

Reviewiverse

By

Kevin Scott Bolinger

  Hello all to a brand new feature on my blog. In this, I will review current films in theaters, or films from the past that are much loved. I will warn everyone now, for current films there will be spoilers. I had a opportunity to go see an advanced screening of Transformers 3 : Dark of the Moon, thanks to my friend Zac winning tickets from a radio contest. The film was shown in 3D, which was amazing, I must say, but will not be the focus of this review.  I will now once again give the warning:


        THERE WILL BE SPOILERS, TURN BACK NOW IF YOU DO NOT WISH TO BE SPOILED!




         YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




      Our movie opens with Optimus telling a tale of the final days of the Great War. We see the Cybertronian landscape, war ravaged. Skirmishes abound far below, as an Autobot ship is trying to get away from a few Decpticon ships in pursuit. Prime lets the audience know that the ship is carrying something that will tip the balance of the war for good. Alas, a small con fighter, Starscream in Cybertronian mode, fires at the ship as it makes it to space, damaging it and sending it tumbling away.

    We switch to Earth in 1961, where they have detected an alien spacecraft on a trajectory for the moon. As the ship crashes, we see it was the same one Starscream had shot as if fled Cybertron. It crashes, and President Kennedy declares that the United States needs to beat the Russians to the moon to examine the crashed vessel.

   We then get to July 1969, and Apollo 11 blasts off. As they approach the moons surface for landing, Armstrong and Aldrin look through classified documents.  As soon as they are in communications blackout from the Moon’s position, relative to the Earth, they are to make their way to the craft and explore. They do so, and we learn there are no survivors. They bring a few trinkets back to Earth.
The true reason we went to the moon?

    We then get to modern times. Sam is now living with new girlfriend Carly, as well as Wheelie and Brains. He is out of work and has many interviews. Meanwhile , the NEST group has been used to take care of major political situations abroad, using the Autobots as uber weapons.  One mission brings Optimus, and Ratchet to Chernobyl, where they detect energon.  While being spied upon by Laserbeak, Lennox and his team find a piece of Cybertronian tech linked to Earth tech. Suddenly they are attacked by a huge Cybertronian worm. Optimus springs into action, his trailer become a weapons bay. He manages to retrieve  the Cybertronian artifact as the worm retracts to reveal it’s master, Shockwave. As that was all going on, Laserbeak assassinates the Russian official that led NEST there.

    As they return to NEST headquarters, we see the Autobots all sent to separate bays for various maintenance, and Skids and Mudflap make a blink and you will miss the appearance as the cars enter the garage. A female government official shows up, demanding to know if NEST was involved in a few highly dubious missions overseas. Lennox tries to give her the runaround, but she wont have that. She demands answers and wants to speak to Optimus. Ironhide informs her that now is not a good time to bother Optimus, because he is, for lack of a better word, pissed. Still in truck mode, Optimus has sat in the bay since his return, not speaking to anyone. Ironhide bops him on the roof to get him to come forth. He transforms and informs everyone that the humans have lied to the Autobots. The sphere from Russia came from the Ark, the crashed ship on the moon.

    Optimus and Ratchet then take an Autobot ship to the moon to see the wreck themselves. There, in the crash chamber, they recover Sentinel Prime, and five rods he had with him. They return to Earth.
Sentinel Prime

    During all this, Sam finally lands a job, in a mail room, on the recommendation of one of the companies board members. One of the managers, a small Asian man, begins following Sam suspiciously.  As days go by, Sam learns that Carly’s boss was the one that gave him the recommendation. Sam does not like the guy, because he is too friendly with Carly. Back at his mail room job, he is stopped in an elevator by the asian manager, who takes his coat to get Sam to follow him in the bathroom. Inside, he gives him papers with information needed about the real reason behind the moon landings. 

    Sam, who has been treated badly by the government and tossed aside, not even allowed to have Bumblebee with him anymore, goes over the information and realizes how important it is. He goes to confront the manager, and the man is acting strange. Though Sam cannot see it, the mans hand his trapped by the computers mouse. The man chases Sam out of his office, and the computer transforms, revealing Laserbeak, who tells the man he is going to suicide him. He does so by pushing him out a window. Laserbeak then attacks Sam, but he manages to evade the Decepticon.

    Sam gets Carly, and makes for the NEST base, there the guards give him a rough time, till Sam grabs one of their radios and calls for Bumblebee, who comes out, not looking favorably on the guards. Lennox then comes to get Sam and Carly.  Sam gives Lennox the information, and the woman from the Government is none to happy, she has Sam brought to her office, and tells him he is not needed, he is not a soldier, just a messenger boy. Sam informs her of how he was attacked by a Decepticon earlier, and Bumblebee is reassigned to him.

   Meanwhile, in the repair bay, Optimus uses the Matrix to revive Sentinel. The five rods are locked away. We then learn that the rods for a space bridge. Sentinel invented the technology, and only he can use it. 

     In and African plain, we see a rusty big rig arrive near some elephants. It transforms and Megatron is revealed, looking worse for wear. He makes his way to a tent like structure, where there are hatchlings, as well as Soundwave. Small parasitic bots crawl all over him, picking at his damaged head.  Starscream arrives, as well as Laserbeak. Both inform him that the Autobots have taken the bait. He orders Soundwave to move forward with the plan.
The Road Warrior called, they want their truck back...

    Sam wants to get to the bottom of all this mess, so he enlists the help if former agent Simmons, now a successful author. Simmons now has a personal bodyguard named Dutch, who is more then he seems. Sam calls Simmons, and Dutch uses a scrambler to make the line secure. Sam then give enough hint to Simmons to get him to join him.

    A few days later, Simmons is with Sam in Carly’s loft, using Brains as a laptop to help search for the information they require. Upon finding what they need, they travel to seek out two former Russian Cosmonauts. After letting them know that they know about what really happened on the moon, the Cosmonauts show them images taken by Russia in the mid 60’s. It shows hundreds of the rods that Sentinel had, dragged across the surface and stacked neatly. Sam realizes Sentinel is the key and must be protected.

    The Autobots then race to Protect Sentinel and get him back to NEST headquarters. They are attacked on a highway by the Dreads, but manage some really cool escapes. Simmons is tossed from his car and left for dead. Sentinel gets back to the base, as the other Autobots prepare to fight the  Decepticons. Ironhide goes head to head with two of the Dreads and smashes into them, as all three transform. Sideswipe joins him, and they have a Mexican standoff. The Dreads try and pull as fast one, but Ironhide and Sideswipe make fast work of them.

     When they return to NEST base, Sentinel transforms, and they learn the truth. He was not bringing the space bridge technology to the Autobots at the end of the war, he was bringing it to Megatron. He tells then that he had seen the devastation the war brought, and decided the only way to survive was to join the enemy, to put an end to the war. He then attacks Ironhide, shooting him several times with an acid based weapon. Ironhide dies, and begins to melt. Sentinel then attacks the interior of the base and retrieves his rods, escaping with them.

    Earlier, Carly, in a new car given to her by her boss, had an argument. She leaves him to attend a work function, and Sam had returned to his research. After Sentinel’s attack, he seeks out Carly.

   Meanwhile, Megatron and Starscream arrive and the Lincoln memorial, where Megatron destroys the statue and makes the seat his throne. Sentinel sets up a small space bridge in the reflecting pool and brings Decepticon reinforcements that had been hiding on the moon. Optimus confronts him, but Sentinel quickly beats him down, but sparing his old friend.  Optimus, seeing they are overwhelmed, orders a retreat.

     Sam then find Carly at her bosses house, and as they try to leave, he finds out her boss has been working with the Decepticons. Carly’s new car turns out to be Soundwave, and he holds her captive to ensure Sam will cooperate. Her boss slaps a Decepticon on Sam’s wrist, which attaches itself to him, and turns into a wrist watch. They will now know everything Sam sees and hears. He is ordered to figure out Optimus’s plan.

   They next day, Sentinel addresses the leaders of Earth, demanding the Autobot renegades be removed from Earth. NEST is shut down, and at Cape Kennedy we see an Autobot ship merged with a space shuttle. It is taken care of by the Wreckers, three Autobots with a NASCAR addiction. All the Autobots board the ship, Optimus telling Sam he has no plan. A few hours later, the ship is launched. As it reaches altitude, Starscream zooms down from space, transforms and blasts the ship to pieces.
Shockwave, one bad bot!

   With the Autobots now dead, the Decepticons make their move. Carly is taken hostage to Chicago, where the Decepticons begin to lay siege. The city quickly falls to the, thousands are killed. Megatron and Sentinel are on top of one of the towers, where Sentinel reveals he is going to bring Cybertron to Earth and use the human race as slaves to rebuild it. Megatron revels in the fact Sentinel is working for him, but Sentinel quickly grabs Megatron;s head, pulling out more wires and circuits, further degrading him. Sentinel shows who is really in charge.

    The city is blocked off, nothing is getting in or out. All fighter jest are quickly shot down. Chicago is now a fortress. Sam wants to rescue Carly. Eps, who had quit NEST long ago, but still helped keep an eye on some of the Autobots while they were there, agrees to put a team together to help. When they get to Chicago though, the team realizes its hopeless. A Decepticon fighter comes down to attack them, but is suddenly shot down. As they turn, Optimus is standing there, holding a giant shotgun. The Autobots had fooled everyone, hiding in the first booster to be jettisoned from their ship. All Starscream had done was destroy an empty vessel.

   Battles erupt over the city, as the Autobots begin to fight back. Everyone’s goal in to destroy the control rod before Cybertron can be brought to Earth. Various action scenes unfold. Sam rescues Carly, only to become trapped in a skyscraper with Eps and his men as Shockwaves pet destroys the center of the building. Optimus, in his flight armor, swoops in and destroys the worm, but a shot from Shockwave causes him to crash into some cranes, becoming entangled in the wires, upside-down. The Wreckers spot him and try to get to him.
TIMBER!

   Meanwhile, after escaping the crashing building, thanks to Optimus, Eps, his men, Sam and Carly are all back on the ground. Sam and Carly are attacked by Starscream, and Sam uses a grapple device given to him by Autobot inventor Que, and he rips out Starscream’s eye. As Starscream is screeching and flailing, Sam takes a spiked bomb Que also gave him, and jams it in Starscream’s other eye. Lennox and his team, after having made a daring jump into the city with heavy casualties, comes to Sam’s aid as the grapple still has him attached to Starscream, with the bomb getting ready to detonate. As Starscream lashes out in pain and anger at being blinded, Lennox cuts the wire, and he and Sam fall from a building as Starscream’s head explodes, killing him. Bumblebee shows in the nick of time to catch the two.
An eye for an eye...

    Some time later, most of the Autobots, sans the Wreckers, Optimus, Wheelie and Brains, have been captured by Shockwave, Soundwave, and Barricade.  Soundwave is happy to have the prisoners, when Carly’s boss points out that they should not keep them as prisoners, but make examples out of them.  Soundwave agrees, and decides to make them trophies. He takes Que, and shoots him in the back, then a generic drone Decepticon finishes the Autobot inventor off. Bumblebee is next to be taken for execution. As Soundwave is powering his blaster, Decepticon fighter craft begin falling out of one of the large carriers overhead. Wheelie and Brains had snuck aboard and sabotaged the ship.  As it crashes into the river, we are left wondering if the two brave little Autobots survived.  The distraction lets the Autobots fight back, and also allows Lennox and Eps and their respective teams to set up an ambush. A sniper Shoots Barricade in the eye, and  gets a few shots on Shockwave. Soundwave is killed by Bumblebee as the two fight.

   Optimus, being freed by the Wreckers, joins the fight. He flies in, killing Barricade. He then fights with a slightly damaged Shockwave, who seems to take a lot of damage before finally succumbing to the blades of Prime.  Meanwhile, Carly finds Megatron sitting down in an alley, looking like a homeless person. He is mumbling to himself, and as she approaches, he halfheartedly threatens her. She then taunts him , finishing by referring to him as Sentinel’s bitch. Enraged, he moves to strike her, but realizes she is right.

   Optimus and Sentinel fight, with Sentinel gaining the upper hand. He slices off Prime’s right arm, and pins him to the ground. As he begins to deliver a killing blow, Megatron attacks him, and beats the old bot down.  Megatron then looks at prime and wonders where Optimus would be without him, as he prepares to kill his mortal enemy. Optimus declares that he will find out, and with one arm, e=he beats down and rips off Megatron’s head, killing him finally. He then walks over to Sentinel, badly wounded, who pleads with Optimus. Optimus executes him with his shotgun. San hits Carly’s boss with a piece of metal, sending him into the control rod, which fries him. Bumblebee and Ratchet then attack the rod, destroying it, and destroying Cybertron in the backwash of the collapsing space bridge, with many Decepticon ships also being sucked in and destroyed. This is where the movie ends, the Autobots finally victorious, but at the cost of thousands of human lives and the destruction of a major city.

     My thoughts on this film. It was good, probably the best of the three Bay Transformers films. It took him three tries to get it right, with one major exception.  The fights are no longer fast paced blurs where you cannot tell what is going on. The acting is better. The Autobots get more screen time. The plot, though lifted from several G1 episodes mashed together, does flow nicely with very few holes. All that being said, I do have one complaint.

    Megatron. For those of us that grew up watching the old show, or even some of the newer ones, he was the ultimate embodiment of evil. In this film though, he is little more then a broken down warrior, grasping at the final straws of a plan initiated thousands of years ago. His mind is damaged, from the battle at the end of Revenge of the Fallen. He wields no control over his own forces. He is little more then a pawn, used, abused, and in the end, destroyed when his usefulness has come to an end.  He deserved better, yet what he got was a last hurrah in fighting Sentinel, only to be taken down in seconds by a badly damaged Optimus.

CYBERTRONIAN RAGE!!!!!!!!

    One other thing that made me groan is a certain line thrown in to Star Trek fans, spoken by Sentinel. He tells Optimus that he is doing what he is doing because " The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few." A famous line, no doubt, but in this context it is evil. I imagine Leonard Nimoy in the recording booth, looking at Bay and saying "really? you seriously want me to say that line...again?"

   Now that I have that out of the way, I will say I really did enjoy this. I went in with low expectations, due to the previous film, but I left with a smile. Michael Bay has redeemed himself a bit. He really can make a decent film if he controls his impulses.  I highly recommend it to anyone. Keep in mind, it is PG-13, and there are a number of robot and human deaths. Humans seem to explode, with bones being lefts behind as they are hit by Decepticon weaponry. If your child can handle such things, then by all means bring them, but use your better judgment.

     I look forward to others seeing this film and giving their opinions. Feedback is most definitely welcomed on this one. I left a few things out, like the bits with Sam’s parents, and other  small plot points. In a nutshell, this is a good summer blockbuster. Till next time, be well!

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Ship of the Week / Month 2

Ship of the week/month 2

By

Kevin Scott Bolinger


   Ahoy and welcome aboard. Here we are at my second ever look at a famous ship from the past. Last week, we inaugurated this blog by taking a maiden voyage aboard the SS UNITED STATES. This week, I thought we would delve into a liner that came into being close to the turn of the 20th  century. This weeks ship is one whose name is nearly as famous as the TITANIC herself. I give to you, my look at the Royal Mail Steamer LUSITANIA.
Cunard Line's first Ocean Greyhound, the RMS LUSITANI

      One cannot look at the LUSITANIA without first looking back at the key piece of technology that made her and her sister, the MAURETANIA the fastest ships of their era. That technology was the steam turbine. The turbine was invented by Charles Parsons in 1884, and was initially used for generating electricity. However, Parsons knew his design could greatly enhance the speed and efficiency of most ocean going vessels. To prove this, he built a steam yacht, the TURBINIA. In 1897, to show off the speed of his invention, Parsons brought the TURBINIA to Queen Victoria’s Jubilee Naval Review, uninvited of course. The fastest warships tried to chase down Parsons, but with a top speed of 27 knots, the warships were left in the wake of the little TURBINIA , with her top speed of 34 knots.  Many ship builders were present at this little demonstration, and Parsons was soon being queried about his marine turbine engine.
Just prior to launch

    The Cunard line was the most interested in exploring this technology, and already had begun imagining two very large ocean liners which they were hoping to power with these turbines. However, they wanted a side by side comparison between the normal quadruple expansion steam engine, currently in use, and the new marine turbine.  They had two sister ships currently on the stocks, nearing the end of their construction. They decided to fit one of them, the CARMANIA, with the turbines, and her sister, the CARONIA, with the traditional engines. The CARMANIA  proved to be the faster and more economical of the two, and so it was decided to only use turbines to power the two new express liners that were on the drawing board.

    Cunard did have one problem, however, in the form of John Pierpont Morgan. Morgan was trying to create a monopoly on the North Atlantic. He had acquired many shipping lines already, with his crowning achievement being the recent purchase of Cunard’s chief rival, the White Star Line. Cunard used this to their advantage in getting parliament to agree to helping foot the bill for the two new ships, since it would mean keeping the Cunard line in British hands. The Admiralty, however, demanded that the two ships be built to their specifications, for quick conversion to armed merchant cruisers in the even of war. This would come to play in the loss of the LUSITANIA in World War 1.
The launch!

     Her keel was laid in 1904, as was that of her sister, however, they were built at two separate shipyards.  LUSITANIA was built at the John Brown shipyard, the same yard that would later give birth to the QUEEN MARY . Her sister, MAURETANIA,  was built by Swan Hunter shipyards, same yard that would build in the same timeframe, the RMS CARPATHIA, famous for being the ship that rescued the TITANIC’s survivors in 1912. LUSITANIA would be launched first, on June 7, 1906, just shy of two years since her keel was laid. At the time of her launch she was the largest ship in the world, a title she would hold until her sister was launched.  She was also the first quadruple screw liner to ever be launched.

    Her fitting out took another year, as craftsmen from all over descended upon the John Brown Shipyard ready to turn the empty hull into a true floating palace. When they were done, she would be called at times the Versailles of the seas. Her long slender hull form just screamed of speed. Her four evenly spaced funnels had a look of power and safety.  She would easily capture the Blue Riband for the fastest crossing on her maiden voyage. Eventually the Riband would go to her sister, who would hold it for an incredible 22 years.
Maiden New York arrival.

    She quickly became a popular ship, and was welcomed everywhere she went. She had a loyal following of passengers who preferred her over her sister, however, in the beginning, she had her teething problems. Her stern had to be overhauled and stiffened, due to massive vibration when the ship was at speed. This was caused by the design of her propellers and their proximity to the hull. The stiffening helped some, but a new design of propeller ended up helping as well. She would cruise at a brisk 25 knots on most crossings.

    Company pride was always very high on Cunard ships, so much so that, in 1911, when White Star’s new massive liner, the RMS OLYMPIC arrived in New York on her maiden voyage, LUSITANIA’s captain refused to salute the new rival as his ship was making her way past on her way out to sea.  It would later become a bit of irony that these two bitter rivals would one day be forced to merge, in order to save British shipping, and complete the massive Hull 504, rusting silently in the John Brown Shipyard during the great depression.

     Her life was never marred by tragedy, Cunard had a reputation of having never lost a paying customer on one of their ships. Her normal routine was almost never disturbed, except for yearly dry dockings for repairs, hull scrapping and repainting. All that would change, however, with the outbreak of World War 1.

    The Admiralty quickly called and requisitioned many merchant ships for war use. LUSITANIA  and her sister were no exceptions. However, it was quickly noticed that the fuel requirements for the larger liners was far more then the Admiralty was able to justify.  Though MAURETANIA would go on to become both a hospital ship and troop transport,  LUSITANIA  was returned to Cunard for use in her civilian role. It was shortly after this that Germany declared unrestricted submarine warfare around the British isles.

     Germany’s declaration came because of the tactics being deployed by many merchant ships. Guns were hidden below decks, and when a submarine would surface, following the cruiser rule for the capture of enemy vessels, the merchantmen’s guns would pop up on deck, and sink the submarine. With the loss of a number of these new weapons of naval warfare, the German leader Kaiser Wilhelm, decided to shoot first and ask questions later. Most nations protested, but that did not stop the German U-boats. 

    In late April of 1915, the LUSITANIA was tied up in New York, being provisioned for her next crossing, scheduled for May 1st.  Meanwhile, in Washington D.C. the German Embassy had issued a warning to travelers and had it printed in many newspapers. In an ironic twist, in many of them it was posted next to the announcement for the LUSITANIA’s next departure.  The warning read as follows :

Notice!
Travellers intending to embark on the Atlantic voyage are reminded that a state of war exists between Germany and her allies and Great Britain and her allies; that the zone of war includes the waters adjacent to the British Isles; that, in accordance with formal notice given by the Imperial German Government, vessels flying the flag of Great Britain, or any of her allies, are liable to destruction in those waters and that travellers sailing in the war zone on the ships of Great Britain or her allies do so at their own risk.
Imperial German Embassy
Washington, D.C. 22nd April 1915

Though the warning was posted, few took it seriously, and only a few cancelled their bookings. After all, not even Germany would sink a fully loaded passenger ship, especially one carrying neutral American citizens.

     On May 1st, 1915, as scheduled, the LUSITANIA backed away from her pier for the last time. Her bow was swung downstream, and she sailed down the Hudson river, into the North Atlantic, and into history.
Captain William Turner, final captain

    Meanwhile, near the Old Head of Kinsale, an Irish landmark many ships used in helping to plot a course to Queenstown, now known as Cobh, a German U-boat had been on the prowl, sinking many merchant ships, and even a schooner.  This was the U-20, under the command of Walter Schwieger . Hunting had been good for Schwieger and his crew, yet now, their fuel running low, and down to their last two torpedoes, it was time to head home.  The date was May 7th, 1915. Schwieger took one last look through his periscope, and spotted what would be the biggest prize from this trip. He began to stalk the mysterious four funneled giant that had crossed his path.

   During the crossing, not all of the LUSITANIA’s boilers had been fired, to conserve fuel during war time. The ship made the crossing at a much lower speed then she normally was capable of. Her orders were to plot a zig-zag course through the war zone. On May 6th, her captain William Turner, had received two warning from the Admiralty about the submarine prowling near Kinsale. Turner posted extra lookouts on the bow and stern.

   Schwieger watched the big steamer through his periscope.  She was coming in close to the Old Head of Kinsale, however, he was not lined up for a good shot. He feared this prize would escape his grasp, but even if it did, he had a successful trip. He and his men would return to Germany heroes.
The U-20, nemesis

   As the ocean greyhound approached land, she was met by heavy fog at 6am on the morning of the 7th. Turner slowed her down to 15knots, and ordered depth soundings, to keep the ship from running aground. By 10am the fog had lifted, and speed was brought up to 18 knots. By noon, bright sunshine greeted her. Shortly after 2pm, Turner decided to take a reading off the Old Head of Kinsale, the ship was only a few miles off shore. He ordered a small course correction…

   Schwieger could not believe his eyes. As he watched, the prize he though had escaped him, suddenly made a small turn, and came right into his crosshairs. He took his readings, gave his orders for the torpedo settings, and fired…

    On the LUSITANIA’s bow, a young lookout spotted a foam trail heading for the ships starboard bow. He called out, but it was too late. The ship shuddered as the torpedo hit, just aft of the first funnel, the blast destroying a lifeboat hanging above. Within seconds, a another explosion rocked the ship, this one larger, and electricity was quickly lost. On the bridge, Turner ordered the ship turned hard-a-starboard, to try and reach land an beach her, but the helm was no longer responding. Already she had taken on a list.
Torpedo hit!

   Panic quickly set in, as the ship was plunged into darkness within.  Unfortunately,  a number of passengers were in the ships elevators when the power was lost, these would become their tombs. Unlike the TITANIC  disaster a few years before, the LUSITANIA  had plenty of lifeboats to go around. The problem came when the crew tried to launch them. Those on the port side were hampered by the starboard list, the boats could not be swung far enough out to clear the hull. Many would get caught on rivets, and tip, dumping passengers on the hull, only to be crushed by the now falling lifeboat. Her port side soon became red with blood. On the starboard side, the boats were now hanging too far away from the ship to be safely entered. All in all, she carried 48 boats, but only 6 were successfully launched as she sank.
Ten minutes into the sinking.

   Within ten minutes of the hit, her  forecastle was already being covered as her bow sank lower and lower. Her screws were already clearing the sea as the stern rose out of the water. People jumped from the rail, to the few boats below. On the bridge, Captain Turner stayed at his post, till the water rushed in, broke the door, and swept him overboard.  The water was only 300 ft deep, the ship was close to 800 ft long. What this meant was the bow of the ship struck the bottom before the stern even left the surface. Soon, the rest of the great liner would join the bow now resting on the sea floor. In total, 18 minutes would elapse from the time the torpedo hit, and the second water closed over her stern plates.

    Many passengers had little time to react, this would lead to the high number of losses suffered, most trapped within the hull itself. Others would drown or succumb to the 50 degree waters they now found themselves in. Out of  1,959 , 1,198 would be lost, with only 761 surviving. Help would soon arrive in the form of many fishing vessels from Queenstown. Captain Turner would survive, he was later seen walking the streets of Queenstown, soaked and looking dazed.
The end is near...

   As Schwieger looked through his periscope, he watched the human carnage. He never intended for this to be the final result. As he watched, he finally saw the ships name. He turned to his crew and said “That is the LUSITANIA  we have just sunk. “  He then ordered the periscope lowered and set a course for home. He would be welcomed as a hero, a special medal would be struck and presented to all the members of his crew. Schwieger himself would not see the end of the war. While in command of U-88 his boat was depth charged and sunk, with no survivors.

    The loss of the LUSITANIA  would be on of the few key events that would eventually drag the United States into the Great War. Of the 133 Americans on board, 129 were killed, including famous millionaire Alfred Vanderbilt. It was decried across the world as an act of barbarism. Newspapers vilified Kaiser Wilhelm and his officers and men.  An inquiry was held in London, but it was pretty much a whitewash. Turner did make a few mistakes, slowing down while entering a known U-boat attack zone, not zig-zagging.
None of these were held against him.

   Much has been said over the last century about what the ship had in her hold. It is true she was carrying crates of ammunition for the war effort, though the type and amount would not account for the second explosion. One theory put forth by Dr. Robert Ballard, the man who lead the joint Franco-American team that discovered the wreck of the TITANIC, was that, due to her design, a coal dust explosion likely occurred. Unlike most liners of the day, who had transverse coal bunkers, the LUSITANIA and her sister were designed to Admiralty specs, meaning, like most warships of the day, the coal bunkers ran the length of the ship. In theory this would minimize the impact of a torpedo or mine, because the loose coal would absorb the blast. However, as the LUSITANIA approached the Irish coast, many of  bunkers were empty, now filled with just dust. Coal dust can be very flammable and explosive when mixed with oxygen. Ballard suggests that the initial impact of the torpedo kicked up the dust in the bunker it hit, causing it to ignite in a second, larger explosion, one powerful enough to knock out the ships power.

   Other theories state that it may have been the sudden entry of cold water hitting the red hot boilers, and causing a few of them to explode violently. Most theories have merit, and the true cause of the second explosion may never be known. All that is know is that the second explosion caused enough damage to sink one of the newest and safest ships afloat within only 18 minutes. To put that in perspective, the TITANIC, which had an iceberg cause 300 ft of damage along her starboard hull, sank in 2 hours and 40 minutes. The speed at which the LUSITANIA sank is what caused the death of so many. If only she had sank slower, more lives may have been spared by the use of the lifeboats.

   The wreck herself has not had the best of luck. It has, over the years, been struck by many depth charges, both in World War 2 and in the 1950’s when she was used as target practice. In the 1980’s, three of her four propellers were recovered. One still exists, at a Maritime museum, not far from the wreck herself.  She is nearly unrecognizable as a ship now, only her bow still has the look of a ship, the rest of her hull and superstructure have collapsed. Occasionally, the currents will uncover a human skull amid the wreckage. Fishing nets now drape her shattered remains. 
The wreck, as it was in the mid 1990's

    Some ships have the sad fate of being beached and cut up for scrap. Others can survive as floating hotels or convention centers. Still others can be sunk for use as artificial reefs. However, there are some whose fate sticks in the public consciousness, mainly for how they were lost. The LUSITANIA belongs in the later group. Her name evokes the terror of war. Her loss while still in her civilian role became a war cry for some on the battlefields of Europe. We can learn from the mistakes made, mourn those lost, but in the end we can only move on to the next event in the long sad history of warfare.

    Thank you for joining me on this voyage into history.  Please feel free to comment and give me suggestions for other ships you would like to see featured here. Till then, enjoy the journey of life, Bon Voyage!


A propeller recovered from the wreck.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Best of / Worst of 7 part 1

Best of / Worst of  7 part 1

By

Kevin Scott Bolinger
Poster for film 1


     Greetings and salutations. Welcome to another special edition of Best of/ Worst of. This time, break out the eye patches, peg legs, swords, and most importantly, the rum, as I dive right into the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise.


     Those expecting me to bash the second and third installments of the series, which happens to be the popular thing to do, it will not happen. This will be a fair look at each film individually. I am a fan, and unlike many, I was able to pull all the plot threads together in the second and third films, and it all made sense to me. I will get into all that as I get to those films, but for now I will give an overview of the series as a whole, and then a write up on the first film.

     As most people know, Pirates of the Caribbean was first a very popular ride at Disneyland in California, copied over to Disney World in Orlando Florida when that park opened. Using animatronic characters and a catchy song, it drew visitors from all over the world. When I fist heard there would be a Pirates film loosely based on the ride, I was a bit skeptical. That all changed when I saw the first trailer, and saw the pirate skeletons walking under water in the moonlight. It captured my imagination, and when it came out, I was there, in the theater enjoying every rollicking  moment.

    Then, a sequel was announced. I was not sure how a sequel would be received. However, yet again, the trailer blew me away. The sight of the Kraken pulling ships down, and of course, Davy Jones himself, one of the best CGI characters ever brought to film. Knowing ahead of time that this movie was one of two, I did not expect to have all the answers. I kept an open mind, and just enjoyed it for what it was. I waited a bit impatiently for the first looks at the third film.

    The third film came out much further from part two then was expected. Hurricanes in the Caribbean postponed some of the filming. When trailers began to hit, I did not care about the plot lines, I just wanted to see Captain Jack and Davy Jones sword fighting in the rigging of the Flying Dutchman, all while a raging whirlpool was beneath them. I love that scene, and will discuss it in detail in the next installment.

    It took time until the fourth installment was announced. The title took me back a bit, but the subject matter was hinted at in the closing moments of the third film.  When the trailers hit, I was not as blown away as I was with the others, but I knew I would be seeing it on it’s opening weekend. I will say, it was a smaller, more contained story, and I did enjoy it, though I missed some of the supporting cast from the other three films.  Rumors now have it that there will be two more sequels,  to be filmed mostly back to back. The story, unknown at the moment of this writing,  is apparently going to be spread across both films, as the second and third parts were. I hope they come up with something amazing, but only time will tell. 

    As a whole, the series is not bad. The Pirate genre was popular back in the 40’s and 50’s but in modern film, a pirate story was pretty much doomed to failure. Many predicted that the first of these new pirate films would suffer the same fate. History now tells us that many nay-sayers  were very wrong in their predictions. The first film went on to be a huge success, breaking a few records along the way.  The sequels, they two turned the franchise into a gold mine. Critics panned the films, but the movie going audience, many of whom no longer take film critics seriously, came out in droves.  Captain Jack Sparrow became a household name!  So, with that being said, let us delve into a more detailed look at the first film.
Cursed Incan Gold


Pirates of the Caribbean : The Curse of the Black Pearl ( 2003 ).  The film opens with a foggy crossing for a British flagged ship. We hear a small girl singing “Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me,”  as she looks into the water below her.  She is distracted by Mr. Gibbs, one of the crew. As he tells her tales of pirates, he is interrupted by Lieutenant Norrington.  He tells them how pirates are dealt with, a sudden drop with a short stop, a funny way to describe a hanging.  As the young girl, now known as Elisabeth, gazes back in the water,  she sees wreckage, followed by a young boy on a plank. The boy is brought aboard, she notices he has a pirate coin medallion , she quickly takes and hides it, as the ship comes upon the burning wreckage of the boys own ship. He is the only survivor. As the others watch the one ship burn, Elisabeth see another, a dark black ship, slip into the fog.

     Eight years later, we find the young boy, Will Turner, has become the apprentice to the local blacksmith. He shows up at the Governor’s mansion with a special sword, to be presented to Norrington, as he is to be promoted to Commodore. Elisabeth comes down to see Will, as her father, Governor Swan, takes the case with the sword so he can give it to Norrington later in the ceremony. During the ceremony, Norrington proposes marriage to Elisabeth, who is wearing a too tight corset. As she is overcome by her breathing difficulty,  she falls over the wall and into the water, wearing the medallion. As it hit’s the bottom it emit’s a strange pulse.
Best Character Introduction Ever!

    Just before the ceremony, we are introduced to Captain Jack Sparrow, as he enters the port in a beat up dingy with a mast. He is standing at the top of the mast, as the dingy slowly sinks below him, the top of the mast coming even with the dock as the boat goes under. Jack, in a style that will become well known,  coolly walks from the sinking mast to the dock without missing a beat. He then pays an extra fee for docking without using his name, while at the same time stealing the dock master’s coin purse.  As he makes his way towards the royal warships, so he can attempt to commandeer one, two Marines meet him, and as he is trying to trick them, Elisabeth falls into the water. He quickly gives his effects to the Marines, and dives in, saving Elisabeth by tearing open her corset and bringing her to the surface.

    There he is met by Norrington, who thanks him for saving his love, only to be recognized as a pirate. Norrington declares him the worst pirate he has ever heard of, which Jack point out that at least he has heard of him. Jack makes a daring escape and hide, eventually making his way into the blacksmith’s , where he has a confrontation with Will, who it turns out is the real skilled blacksmith, creating many swords. He also practices with them a lot, so he can kill pirates. As he and Jack swordfight, the drunken blacksmith wakes up, and bops Jack on the head, knocking him out. He is taken away to be jailed, and eventually hung.

    Later that night, the black pirate ship attacks Port Royal, the pirates seeming to be unstoppable, and un-killable. They kidnap Elisabeth, and knock Will out. She is taken to the ships Captain under the hospices of parley. There we are introduced to Captain Hector Barossa. He welcomes her aboard the Black Pearl, his crew only really wanting the medallion. She is determined to get them to leave, and threatens to throw it overboard. They stop their assault, and prepare to leave, but since she did not specify herself being brought back, they leave with her as their prisoner.
Barbossa and the crew of the Black Pearl

   Will wakes up, and realizes he will need help. He breaks jack out of prison, and the two make their way to the fleets flagship, though only to disable it and cause a distraction so they can steal a smaller , faster ship. One of Norrington’s aides declares Jack to be the best pirate he has ever seen.

   Jack needs a crew, so he heads to Tortuga, the pirates den. There he puts a rag tag bunch of misfits together.  Included in this lot, is the older, and drunker, Mr. Gibbs.  They leave Tortuga and make after the Black Pearl, Jack using a compass that Will thinks is broken.
Barbossa revealing the curse

   Elisabeth is being wined and dined on the Pearl, but Barossa is not eating, just talking. She tries to kill him, and realizes he cannot die. As she tries to escape onto the moonlit deck of the ship, she sees that the crew are skeletons. The crew is cursed.  As we learn, they took cursed Incan gold from Isla De Meurta , at first they did not show signs of being cursed, but as they spent their fortune, nothing could slake their thirsts or lusts. They learned they had to return every piece of gold to the island, along with a blood sacrifice. Because Elisabeth told them her last name was Turner and not Swan, they think that she is the last piece they need to break the curse. They find out the hard way that they were wrong.

   Eventually the realize they need the real Turner, and track down Jack and his crew. The Pearl is the fastest ship afloat, and they cannot escape her. They capture the crew and destroy Jack’s ship. Will escapes the destruction, but is also captured, once Barossa and his crew realize who he really is. Jack and Elisabeth are made to walk the plank, and left on a small island with only a single gunshot in a pistol.
Attack of the Pearl!

   On the island, Jack tells her how he was the original captain of the Pearl, and Barossa was his first mate. Barossa wanted to be told where they were headed, since only Jack knew the location if Isla De Meurta. He leads a mutiny and maroons Jack on the very same island. We also learn that Will’s father, Bootstrap Bill Turner, was against the mutiny, and after they had the gold, spoke out against it. His punishment was to be tied to a cannon and sent to the depths of the ocean.  Given the immortal status of the crew, this was a fate worse then death, and considering he would be needed to break the curse, the pirates regret their mistake with him, hence settling for Will for the blood sacrifice.
Two Captains.


    Jack shows Elisabeth a stash of smuggled goods on the island he found the last time he was there, and the two drink lots of rum, and get drunk, dancing and singing on the beach. The next morning, Elisabeth has taken the remaining rum, and lit a huge signal fire. As Jack goes to the other side of the island to get away from her, he sees Norrington’s flagship heading their way.

   Rescued from the island, Jack exchanges information on where to find the Black Pearl for his freedom. He leads them to the island, and makes his way into the caves. He confronts Barossa, under parley, and while no one is watching, he palms one of the coins.  Barossa sends his men for a walk underwater, to sneak up on Norrington and his men.  The pirates, being immortal, have the upper hand.

"Gents, take a walk.

   Meanwhile, Jack and Barossa begin to fight, as Elisabeth frees Will. Barossa gets the better of  Jack, and stabs him, only for jack to stumble back into the moonlight, revealing he too is cursed now.  He plays with his pilfered coin, showing Barossa how he tricked him. The two fight some more, Barossa wondering aloud if they would continue forever as two immortal battling.  Will stands by the casket of coins, his fathers medallion in his hand, Jack tosses his coin, with his blood on it to Will, and turns and shoots Barossa with his single shot pistol. At the same time, Will drops Jack’s coin, and his own, now with blood, into the chest, breaking the curse. Barossa falls dead, as do a few of his recently wounded men on Norrington’s ship. Without their immortality, the survivors quickly surrender.

    Jack’s crew had stolen the Black Pearl while Barossa’s pirates were busy. They sail off with it, without Jack. Jack is brought back to Port Royal. He is to be hanged after all, despite his service to Norrington and Governor Swan. Will frees him, and he escapes as the Pearl is seen in the distance. Elisabeth decides she loves will, her father accepts that, as does Norrington. Norrington also decides to not chase jack right away, giving him a few hours head start.  The film ends with Jack looking at his compass as he changes course on the Pearl. After the credits, a monkey from the cursed crew takes a coin from the cursed chest and becomes cursed.

    So, what do I think if this one? It was fantastic, it introduced us to a rich and colorful world. The fight scenes were great, the locations beautiful, and the acting was superb. Obviously Jack was the standout. Johnny Depp created a character he described as a slight tribute to Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards. It is funny that Richards himself would later go on to play Jack’s father in the third and fourth films.

    The cursed pirate effects blew me away.  It was cleaver that their true nature would only be revealed in moonlight. It had the feel of an old time horror film. The CGI used was some of the best, only to be outdone by Davy Jones and his crew in part two.

    The story was a great way to introduce this world. However, I do feel that this one, though great, is lacking a little of what the sequels have. I still love it, but I do not watch it as often as I watch the others. 
However, for being the first, it was done very well. I highly recommend it to anyone that likes adventure stories, pirates, or tales of the sea.

   So, what is next for our intrepid Captain Jack and his crew? We will dive into that in the next few weeks.  Next time, we will take a detailed look at Dead Man’s Chest and At Worlds End. I may or may not point out all the relevant plot points and how they connect. It will depend on how long the descriptions get. I may save that for a separate blog, time will tell. Till then, thank you for reading, and please feel free to comment here, or on my Facebook page. I welcome all criticism, as long as it is done respectfully.  As always, we are the universe, trying to find it’s voice, we are one!

"Drink up, me hearties, YO HO!"

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Ship of the week/month




Ship of the week/month

By

Kevin Scott Bolinger

   Hello all, and welcome to the first installment of my look at famous ships. These ships can range from the great ocean liners of the past, to modern cruise ships, warships, or even wooden vessels from days long ago. This comes out of my personal love of ships and the sea. The romantic notion of sailing a ship towards the horizon intrigues me.

    You may be asking where my love of ships came from. It is simple, it all began when I was eight years old and first heard the name of one of the most famous vessels to ever sail, TITANIC. Back then, and we are talking the late seventies, I could not really get much information on the ship. It wasn’t till I was twelve going on thirteen that Doctor Robert Ballard and his team of American and French researchers located her wreck that information became more readily available. As I grew, I began to wonder about other ships of her era, famous liners like her sister, the OLYMPIC, rivals, MAURETANIA and LUSITANIA (herself a famous ship for her untimely demise,).


    With the release of James Cameron’s film TITANIC, even more research flooded to my hands. I learned about the beginnings of the ocean liners, why they were important, and why they should never be forgotten. I will recommend to you all, if you want a few good reads on the history of ocean liners, find copies of the following:
The Sway of the Grand Saloon  by John Malcolm Brinnin.

The Only Way to Cross  by John Maxtone-Graham.

The Age of Cunard  by  Daniel Allen Butler

Falling Star  by John P. Eaton  & Charles A. Haas

Those are but a few of the wonderful books I have read in my life on the subject of the old liners.  I highly recommend them to anyone with an interest in maritime history.

   Now, on to the subject of this first ship blog.  For my first ship, you would think I would choose the RMS TITANIC, however, a ship of her fame must be saved. I plan on doing a write up on her, but I would like to wait to next April, the 100th anniversary of her sinking. No, my first ship will be one that is much closer to me, and I mean geographically. This particular ship is still afloat, though barely. She rests tied up to a pier right up the road from me in Philadelphia. I am of course talking about the fastest ocean liner ever built, the SS UNITED STATES.
Cutaway of the Big U.

    She was born from the mind of William Francis Gibbs,  born in 1886. Gibbs was a naval architect. One of his first jobs was to oversee the conversion and reconstruction of the former German liner VATERLAND into the SS LEVIATHAN. The original builders, Blom and Voss in Germany, demanded one million for the plans. Gibbs, being the genius he was, spent a few weeks crawling through every nook and cranny of the ship, and simply drew his own.  He would later go on to design the SS AMERICA, a mid-sized vessel, with similar lines to her later sister, the Big U. 
UNITED STATES at sea.

    During World War Two, he was helping to oversee the conversion of the great French liner NORMANDY into a troop ship, as had been done with the Cunard lines QUEEN MARY and QUEEN ELIZABETH. Unfortunately, a fire broke out on board, and the NORMANDY capsized at the pier. Her superstructure had to be cut away so she could be raised, and by then, it was decided she would be worth more as scrap. The fire had an effect of Gibbs, one that would become manifest in the design and construction of the UNITED STATES.

   The UNITED STATES was designed as a dual purpose ship. She was a liner first, but could quickly be converted to a troop ship if the need arose. Because of this, her hull was designed to Navy specifications, which also meant that photographs of her under water hull were not allowed until the ship was declassified  in 1968.  Her lower hull had more in common with a battleship then an ocean liner.
Under Construction early 1952.

    Her keel was laid in 1950 at the Newport News shipyard in Virginia.. Construction of her hull and super structure would last till 1952. Though it was not announced until many years later, when her true stats were known, during her sea trials, which lasted two days, she reached the unheard of speed for a vessel her size, of 43 knots. That is almost the equivalent of 50 mph. Mind you this was a ship 990 ft long,  and 101 ft wide. Also during her trials, she managed to reach the speed of 20 knots…in reverse!  Her nearest rivals, the Cunard QUEENS, could only do about 32 knots on a good day. She truly was in a class all her own.

   When she made her maiden arrival in New York, she was greeted by a flotilla of tugs, fire boats, ferries, and even two Liberty ships from World War Two. She made her first crossing to Europe in a record shattering 3 days and 10 hours, shaving a full ten hours of the QUEEN MARY’s best time.  She was greeted warmly in Southampton, with Winston Churchill himself sending a congratulatory telegram.

   Some of her figures were reported falsely in her early life. When publications about her began, it was said she had 150,000 shaft horsepower, driving four screws. The truth, her steam turbines were far more powerful, with a true horsepower rating of 248,000. However, with a all that power to spare, she was never driven at full speed, except in her trials.
20 knots...BACKWARDS!

   Back in the mid nineteenth century,  the ship that completed the fastest crossings was awarded the blue ribband, though an actual award never existed, it did give bragging rights to the line that owned a particular ship. To this day, no other passenger ship has ever crossed the Atlantic in either direction. The UNITED STATES still holds the blue ribband, the longest ship in history to be so honored. Though her speed record was broken, it was not by a passenger ship, and it was only in one direction. The Big U held the record for both eastbound and westbound crossings.

   Now let us get into some of the design elements that make her unique. As I mentioned before, William Gibbs had a great fear of fire onboard ship after the destruction of the NORMANDY. To combat this, he designed the UNITED STATES with no wooden decking, no wooden paneling, an aluminum super structure, and fabrics treated with fire retardant.  The only two wooden objects onboard, so it was said, were the butchers block in the kitchen, and the baby grand piano, and Gibbs tried to persuade Steinway to build him an aluminum piano, but they refused.
Her maiden New York arrival.

    Though she was the fastest, and most popular ship in the 1950’s, even she could not beat the newcomers to the trans-atlantic trade. The age of the passenger jet had begun. Why would a person spend hundreds or thousands of dollars to cross the ocean in days, when it can be done in hour aboard a jet air liner. This was what ultimately  what killed the ocean liner trade. Today, there  is only one true ocean liner afloat and in service, Cunard’s ,massive QEEN MARY 2, though she herself is mainly a cruise ship with a reinforced bow designed to survive North Atlantic crossings.  Of the great liners of the past, only a handful remain, though most are either in back waters, rotting away, or, like the first QUEEN MARY, they are finding new life as floating hotels and convention centers.  The Big U sits up the road from me, rusting at a pier side, her mighty funnels dominating the riverfront. Her lines are still beautiful, but her glory has faded.
The UNITED STATES (top) passes her older sister, the AMERICA (bottom)

    How she got to her current berth is a short tale filled with long pauses. She was laid up in the late 1960’s, no longer profitable, no longer needed. She spent a long time in her birthplace of Newport News, and even some time tied to a pier in Norfolk. Eventually, overseas interests tried to purchase her, and in 1994, she was sent to Turkey. They removed almost all of the asbestos, and the lifeboats, and well as other fittings. However, she just sat at anchor for two years. Nothing was done with her. It almost seemed as if she would be scrapped. Yet somehow, she was towed back across the Atlantic to the country of her birth. Many speculated on where she was headed, some thought New York, others Miami, yet in the end, on July 27th, 1996, she was tied up to the dockside of Philadelphia, at the foot of the Walt Whitman bridge. It is odd that it was this date, for on that same date, I was in upstate New York saying my wedding vows. Odd how now I live down the road from her.
Her current state, tied to a pier in Philadelphia, rusting.

     All  is not lost for the UNITED STATES. Late last year, the organization trying to save her, the SS UNITED STATES Conservancy, was given enough cash from Philadelphia philanthropist H. F. “Gerry” Lenfest, to buy her from her then owners, Norwegian Cruise Line. Plans are now afoot to find a permanent home for this great ship. Rumors abound, will she stay in Philadelphia? Or maybe New York? No one yet knows, as deals are still being made, as of this writing. What I do know, is she was saved from the cutting torches of the scrapers, due to protection from the U.S. Congress. That protection bought enough time for the Conservancy to purchase her.  What will the future hold for this fantastic vessel? I do not know, but I am glad she at least has a chance at a future. She was the last great liner built by our country, and she deserves better then what she has got.

     I hope you all enjoyed this look at a great ship. I am not sure which ship I will do next.  If you have one you would like to hear about, with the exception of the TITANIC, for reasons I discussed above, feel free to leave me a comment here or on my Facebook page. In today’s society, we take for granted the great liners of the past, and it is a shame, for they were once the headliners for many newspaper. We do not make film reels of jets, unless one crashes, yet many film reels were made of the great liners. Learn about them, appreciate them, because, for nearly  100 years, they were the only way to cross. Farewell!
New York's Luxury Liner row in the 60's. Ships shown, The RMS QUEEN ELIZABETH ( just arriving) , from top down, SYLVANIA, MAURITANIA (II) , the USS INTREPID, the OLYMPIA, the UNITED STATES, the AMERICA, and the INDEPENDENCE.

Friday, June 3, 2011

Best of/Worst of 6 Part 2

Best of/ Worst of 6 part 2

By

Kevin Scott Bolinger


     Greetings and salutations, loyal readers. Forgive me for my long absence in finishing my look at the Nightmare On Elm Street films, but a death in the family, followed by illness on my part, waylaid me for a few weeks. However, I am back now, to bring you part two of my series. Please read to the end, I will have a few announcements for the future.  Now, when we left off, I had given you all my opinion on the best four of the films. Today, I give you what I consider the lower end of the spectrum. Not all of these are bad films, in fact only one of them really deserves to be called as such, but I do feel that they are not as well done as those that came before. So, let us delve into the four worst Nightmare On Elm Street films, cue theme music…oh wait, I don’t have any.

  I will be numbering these down from five to eight,  in the reverse of the previous post. As always, your opinion may vary, and you can all feel free to express that either here or on my Facebook posting.

Number 5. Wes Craven’s New Nightmare  (1994 ).
New Nightmare

This one earns the best of the worst spot, simply for it’s ingenuity . Craven set out to tell a tale of a film becoming reality.  It is meant to showcase the real world demon that Freddy represents on the big screen.  I give him points for creativity, but I will be honest, I found the final product a bit boring in parts. However, he tried to think outside the box on this one, and that is worth a lot.

    I will try to sum this one up as quickly as I can. The film opens with a recreation of the famous glove creation scene from part one. We soon learn that this is a movie set, and the special effects creator is married to Heather Langencamp, the actress who portrayed Nancy in two of the films. They have a son, and are wandering the set.  Suddenly the claw, once an inanimate special effect, comes to life and begins killing the crew. As it heads for Heather’s husband, she suddenly wakes up screaming. Yes, all of this a nightmare. To make it more interesting, as she wakes up screaming, there is an earthquake.

   As time goes by, she reveals that she has been getting phone calls from someone who sounds an awful lot like Freddy. Familiar faces are brought in, as she visits old friends and co-actors, such as Robert Englund, and even Wes Craven himself.  Her son also begins acting strange, even walking out into the middle of a busy freeway in the middle of the night. 
Freddy, the real Demon behind the scenes

    Soon it seems reality and fantasy are colliding, and Wes reveals that there is a real demon that Freddy has always represented. This real demon likes being Freddy and is now taking things a bit far. As the film winds down, Heather and her son find themselves in a final confrontation with the demon, but she has to confront him as Nancy. 

     Is this one bad? No, not really. However, as I said, it can be a bit boring. It can sometimes be difficult to wrap your head around some of the concepts being put forth. The effects were good for it’s time. The new look of Freddy as the demon, coupled with how he acts, is how Wes originally wanted the character to be, ten years earlier. I can take or leave this one. Sometimes, I will watch it, if I need a refresher, but for the most part, it remains untouched in my film library.

Number 6. A Nightmare On Elm Street (2010) .

Remake-o-rama
Ah yes, the remake of the original. This film was less a horror film, then a character study about the origins of Freddy. This one makes Freddy out to have been so much more of a child molester then a child killer the original one was.  His fate was similar, the parents ganged up and burned him alive. The makeup reflect a more true burn victim look. I have only sat through it once, and it did not really catch my interest too much. That isn’t to say it was bad. I like Jackie Earl Haley, who plays Freddy in this. Ironically, it was Haley who had gone to the auditions for the first film, way back when. His ride to the audition, Johnny Depp. The producers liked Johnny’s look, and asked him to audition. The rest, as they say, is history. Funny how things come full circle.

    In this film, Freddy was a gardener at a preschool. He had a “secret room” where he used to take the children, and he would take pictures of them, in various states of undress.  His little hobby is discovered by the parents when his favorite little girl, Nancy, tells her mom about the secret room. 

    The film opens in a diner, where a man is falling asleep in a booth. He meets a burned man, with razor knives on one hand. He awakes to discover his chest is cut and bleeding. He then stands, and with a steak knife, cuts his own throat.  There is a funeral, and one of Nancy’s friends see a picture of them at a preschool, but no one remembers it. Her friend is later killed, her ex-boyfriend blamed. He is then killed in his cell.

   Nancy and her friend Quentin begin to piece it all together. They confront one of the parents, and realize Freddy was killed by them without evidence, and he is now out for revenge because the kids lied. Somehow they find the old abandoned preschool after all this time, and they discover the “secret room” complete with the child porn still on the walls. Realizing they were wrong, and that Freddy is just killing them off because he is evil, they try to formulate a plan.
Freddy or Scarecrow?

    As in the original, Freddy is brought out of the dream, but this time, Nancy cuts off his gloved hand , slashes his throat, and sets him and the room on fire. Nancy wakes up in the hospital, with her mom with her. Freddy appears in a mirror, kills her mom, and pulls her body into the mirror.

    The idea of Freddy as a child murderer was evil enough, but turning him into a pervert, one that was molesting the kids instead of killing them, is somehow worse. I think it doesn’t work as a motive, and the film suffers for it. There is of yet no word on if a sequel will be made, but who knows, with the Hollywood reboot machine in full swing, we make get another retelling one day. Watch this one if you are curious about how they made a modern version of Freddy. Otherwise, skip it.

Number 7. A Nightmare On Elm Street 5 : The Dream Child ( 1989 ) .

Aww Freddy has a baby buggy...
This film was the final part of the trilogy that was started with Nightmare 3.  The main plot is silly, the deaths are also silly, it seems that everything about this film was just made for comic relief. This one is bad, but it is still better then the final dud on this list.

    This film picks up a year after Nightmare 4, where the two survivors, Alice and Dan, are now dating, and preparing to graduate high school, then tour Europe. Alice begins having dreams of Amanda Krueger, and of an unknown child named Jacob.  As the story progresses, we meet new friends of hers, none who are very important. We also begin to see a reforming Freddy, though one that is more physically disfigured and twisted then before. 

    Freddy is slowly regaining strength, but to do that, he needs new souls, since his old stash was ripped out of him in the last film. He begins killing Alice’s new friends, and even manages to kill off her boyfriend Dan right in front of her, which causes her to faint. When she comes to in the hospital, she learns she is pregnant with Dan’s child, and it is through this unborn child that Freddy is returning. 

     As the film nears it’s climax, Alice needs her one remaining friend to free the soul of Amanda Krueger, buried behind a brick wall at the old sanitarium where she was locked in the room with the maniacs and raped.  Her soul released, Amanda is free to fight her bastard son Freddy, and Alice escapes.  Many months later, we see Alice, her friend, and her dad, smiling over the new born baby in a park, his name, Jacob.

    This one nearly brought down the series. The goofy look Freddy was given makes it even worse.  The story makes almost no sense.  This film and the film in our number eight slot are the least favorite of series star Robert Englund.  If you want to see this for completeness, or are just curious about how to make a bad Nightmare film, give this one a whirl. If you really want to know what happened to Alice after part four, then watch this one. Otherwise, avoid, there is very little to redeem this one. However, we are not done yet folks, and I might need to take a few swigs of rum before tackling our last installment.

Number 8. A Nightmare On Elm Street 2 : Freddy’s Revenge ( 1985 )

Oh Freddy, how they hurt thee...
My head hurts just thinking about this one. I do not think I am going to hold back on the bile with this. This film is a pure example of how a sequel to a successful film can be done so horribly wrong. The director seemed to have a thing for homosexuality, and it is very evident in the final product. However, it does have one of the best sequences from the franchise, one that most fans recognize. Freddy, leaping out of a pool, and in a much darker and deadlier voice, saying to all the teens gathered there for a party “You are all my children now!”  This is the highlight of this film, the rest, I have seen better excrement on the bottom of my shoes after walking through a dog park.

    The film opens with a new family moving into Nancy’s old house from Nightmare 1.  Our main character, Jesse, moves into Nancy’s old room. He begins having nightmares, in them Freddy demands that he kill for him.  Jesse’s girlfriend Lisa ends up finding Nancy’s diary in the room, while helping Jesse unpack. As she reads, he realizes his nightmares are related.  As the nightmares get worse, Freddy becomes stronger and stronger.

    Jesse tries to tell his parents, but they feel he is crazy, and he storms out. One night, he finds himself wandering the streets, not knowing how he got there or why. In a bar, he runs into the head coach from school. The coach decides to force Jesse back to the school, at night, and makes him run laps.  As Jesse is showering, the coach’s office comes to life, and jump ropes drag the man into the shower. He is tied up, as steam increases. A shadowy figure, unmistakably Freddy, emerges, and slashes the coach’s back with his razor claws. We then see that it was not Freddy , but Jesse wearing the claws. He looks down and screams in horror.  The film then cuts back to Jesses house, no explanation.

    Lisa does her best sleuthing, and gets the background on Freddy. Meanwhile, Jesse enlists the help of his friend Grady. He wants Grady to watch him as he sleeps, to make sure nothing happens. Jesse falls asleep, so Grady decides to sleep himself. Jesse then awakes screaming, as Freddy makes his way out of Jesse. He kills Grady, and as the camera looks in the mirror, it is Jesse who killed Grady, but the silhouette is that of Krueger.  Jesse runs to Lisa’s house, where the above mentioned pool party is taking place. Freddy takes over, more fully this time, and tries to kill Lisa. She fights him off, and escapes.
"You are all my children now!"

   Freddy then begins to wreak havoc on the party goers. He heats the entire area, causing the fences to burn, metal to glow red hot, and the pool to boil. He kills kids left and right. Some attack him, but are quickly dealt with. He then gives the best line of the film, mentioned above. Lisa’s father runs out with a gun, but Lisa keeps him from shooting Freddy, who erupts in a fireball and escapes.

    Lisa tracks him to the old factory where he was originally burned. As her and Freddy face of for the final time, she appeals to Jesse inside. She then takes off Freddy’s hat and kisses him, causing Freddy to loose control, and the building to ignite, along with Freddy himself. In the end, Freddy’s remains stir, and Jesse crawls out, a little shaken, but alive. The film ends with them on a bus, and Freddy killing, and the bus heading for a cliff…with chilling laughter.
The kiss of death? Thankfully not!

    Ok, on paper, all that sounds like a good idea, in practice, it was a migraine waiting to happen.  Not one death takes place within the confines of a nightmare. The acting is wooden at times. The best part is Freddy, yet he is relegated to a few cool scenes near the end. The basic plot idea of this story is just very flawed. Freddy does not need someone in the real world to claim victims.

    Was this sequel needed?  Wes Craven did not think so. He wanted the first film to be a standalone piece. He wisely steered clear of this fiasco. Now don’t get me wrong, the film has it’s fair share of people who like it. However, it is a far cry from it’s predecessor. Jesse is a whiner, his girlfriend has more balls then he does. The director wanted to flaunt his personal taste in men on the audience, hence why there are so many scenes of the male leads in tight underwear, or what is really a gay bondage scene where the coach is killed. Say what you want, but this fill is bad, despite being successful in the box office. It could have easily killed the franchise before it even got off the ground..

    This one makes me cringe when I watch it. I only own it because I own the box set with all the older nightmare films. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth. F it was not for the pool party slaying scene, the film would be irredeemable. I recommend, that if you have not seen it, skip it. It is largely ignored by the films that follow it. In the grand scheme of the franchise, this is the biggest turd.

    Now that I am done with that mess, and my rum is running out, I can move on to my final thoughts on the entire series as a whole. I like it, I really do, for the most part, the films are fun escapism into the world of a twisted madman out for revenge. Every film series has it’s good parts and bad parts.  However, even the worst parts have their fans. I am a fan of Freddy Krueger,  he was a great villain to root for. I would even recommend watching Freddy vs. Jason, simply for the nostalgic aspect, and the comedy Freddy injects into the film.  If you have never seen the films, give them a chance, they are tame compared to the horror films of today, the so called torture porn era of horror films, which only exist to disgust, not entertain.  These are classics, even the bad ones are watchable.  Enjoy them for what they are, but do not expect cinema masterpieces.

    Now on to a few announcements. I am thinking of adding some more content to the blog, not just more Best of /Worst of, which I  will be continuing, but I also want to add new write-ups. My next best of /Worst of will be focusing on the Pirates of the Caribbean films, so look for that in a week or two, depending on what life throws at me. I am also a historian of sorts when it comes to ships, most notable ocean liners from the mid 19th all the way through the 20th centuries. I will be creating a ship of the week, or ship of the month, depending on how frequently I can get to doing a write up. On top of that, I also dabble in fan fiction. Back in my Myspace days, I ran a group which featured my own stories as well as those of others. I wish to get back into it. I plan on starting this with a story that will begin where the series Stargate Universe left off. I will try to end the series in my own way, and I hope fans of Stargate join me in this little bit of fan fiction. 

   With all that said, I want to thank those that take the time to read this and enjoy the things I enjoy.  As always, your comments are welcome, feedback, as long as it is respectful is appreciated.  Till we meet again, we are the universe, trying to find it’s voice, we are one!